Swiss Longjohns, Winter Weight, Surplus

Pst. Would you like to buy some underwear? And not just any underwear but thick, retrosexual Swiss army long johns! Possibly used, possibly not, who knows. Unfortunately clean, but at least cheap. Perfect for winter use. Also excellent combat pants for high elves among us.

Features

We strongly believe that these were originally used more as pant liners than long johns on their own. We have no idea about their dating but judging by the material and cut, they have most likely been forgotten in some gloomy but well-ventilated storage bunker for a very long time.

These have a buttoned dick window, although the buttons leave a pretty big opening. It won’t matter much because you aren’t supposed to go commando underneath. If you pull these on bare skin, your willy might go on a walk. The elastic hems are pretty snug, and the fabric is somewhat stretchy all in all apart of course from the waistband. So, get the right size. There is a tightening system above your ass crack, that you can use to adjust the waist just a tad, in case you like those post-Christmas diets.

The material is really nice off-white cotton, smooth on the outside, terryclothy on the inside. This awesome stuff you don’t see that often anymore in military underwear. The long johns caress your skin in a sensual, almost erotic fashion. Especially on a long march. Some of these might have the waistband reinforced by silk or some synthetic material.

Sizing

The Swiss sizing system is once again a bit peculiar. To make it easier for you, we measured the waist circumference ourselves. The measurements can vary a bit because army sizing is sometimes as accurate as the Russian artillery. However, you can tighten/loosen the waistband just a little bit. The leg length can vary a bit as well, but that isn’t that important because you can fix that with socks.

Condition

Swiss military surplus. Nicely used, some might even be unissued but abandoned in some warehouse. All of them have been washed and are in very nice condition. So, they don’t smell of toxic masculinity or the essence of fetishes, just some detergent. If you still feel iffy about it, buy brand new long johns. We also have awesome Merino wool.