Kalakalle Fish Cock, 182 g, canned

Kalakalle Fish Cock, 182 g, canned

Price 4.99 EUR including VAT
In stock 72 pcs. Also available in our walk-in store.
Sold 312 pcs in the last two weeks.
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97 % recommends
Description
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Reviews (36 pcs)

A traditional Finnish delicacy in canned version, 5 years of shelf life and does not contain cock! If "Fish Cock" doesn't automatically mean food to you, it's a Finnish speciality - fish baked inside rye bread. This is a perfect snack or trekking food, always ready to eat and contains enough energy to keep you going and enough high quality protein to keep you in shape.

The food is much like a mix of hamburger and pie, made out of rye bread and filled with smoked salmon. The funny part is that because of the hermetically sealed tin can, no preservatives are needed, and the ingredients are the superfoods they always tell you you should eat. Because it's healthy AND it tastes good, this food resembles much like a situation where you are enjoying your beer in a bar and a pretty young girl comes up to you and asks if you would like to go to her place and assfuck her. A deal too good to be true. Except with this food delicacy there is no hidden cock included.

The guys at Kalakalle are pretty cool, as they don't cheat when they do things. To smoke salmon, they've built two smoke saunas - like real timber smoke saunas. Smoke sauna is a house with a big-as-a-fucking-really-big-thing fireplace and no chimney. You put a fire in the fireplace and the whole building fills with the smoke. Smoked salmon is smoked by putting the salmon over these fireplaces.

This really is something as a always-ready-snack or trekking food. It tastes good, and if you are equipped with a knife, you should be able to take the pastry out of the can whole. Looking and tasting at the thing makes it hard to believe it came out of a tin can, as the bread really looks like a bread and the whole thing tastes very good.

Foreign people might wonder why the excellent delicacy is called fish cock and, well, it's a wonder for us too, since this food originally comes from Savo, a remote location in the middle of Finland known for inbreeding and incapacity to form sentences that mean anything. In Savo, fish cock means food and flying fish cock a train.

Ingredients: smoked salmon, rye bread (whole grain rye flour, rye [50 %], wheat flour, water, yeast, rye malt, sea salt [1,2 %]), salt 1,3 %.

Nutritional facts: 100 g contains: energy 1009,28 kJ (241,22 kcal), protein 14.11 g, carbs 17.49 g, fat 12.11 g. One can of 182 g contains: energy 439 kcal, protein 26 g, carbs 32 g, fat 22 g.

This product is made in Finland. Obviously.

There is a five-year shelf life printed on the can. This is because "you have to put something in there". In real life, well made (duh, it's made in Finland) canned food last a way lot longer, and doesn't really turn toxic - if you store this for reaaally long time, taste and energy values do deteoriate, but it's still edible. As it is, fish cock makes for a very good quality emergency ration. It'd be smart to store these into your car, your boat, cabin and anywhere you might get stranded in.

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Reviews

4.5 / 5
36 ratings
1
3
7
25

0
0.5-1
1.5-2
2.5-3
3.5-4
4.5-5

Score distribution
97 %
recommends



5/5 30.05.2016
Törkeän hyvää. Koostumus ei ole mikään mönjäinen tai limainen, epämääräinen säilyke vaan kiinteä, pehmeä ruisleipä jonka välissä oikein maukasta kalaa. Täyden kympin tuote!

Kyytipojaksi suosittelen vahvat termarikahvit ja Ah! Nautinto on taattu!
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3/5
I would recommend for a friend
15.09.2016
Kinkkukukko oli parempaa, tämä on vähän kuivaa. Ja aika suolaista. Petyin hieman, mutta odotukset olivat tosi korkealla, ei tämä huonos ole laisinkaan.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
04.01.2017
This product makes a great addition to field rations. It has a salty, smoky flavour like a kipper.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
17.03.2017
This stuff has a great flavor. I'm going to order more of it as a drinking snack because it's a little on the dry side, but the taste is really good. If you're going to take it as a field ration make sure you've got plenty of water.
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4/5
I would recommend for a friend
05.04.2017
Unusual and kinda dry, but definetly nutritional, hearty, and will keep you going. For all the campers and people who like to truly rough it.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
10.04.2017
I first tried this courtesy of a pretty Finnish American classmate on a university field trip to 29 Palms in California. I'm watching coyotes slip into the oasis for water, stars overhead and a few UFOs fleeing California drivers. She's playing a recording of Cantus Arcticus, the native fauna is all mixed up by the strange new birds in town and I'm thinking ' this sure beats a McDonalds fish filet! I'm really happy to have found it again.
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3/5
I would recommend for a friend
21.05.2017
Ainakin oli suolaa...
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
25.05.2017
I love it, it's a bit thirst provoking (although my can was quite moist with what I can only imagine is oil) but has an excellent taste of smoked salmon. I'd recommend some pickles or some other sides to add to this dish. Definitely better than a MRE.
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2/5
I would not recommend to a friend
27.05.2017
5/5
I would recommend for a friend
29.05.2017
Erittäin hyvää, sopivaa välipalaa vaelluksella. Suolaista joten vettä pitää olla matkapojaksi.

Kala maistuu kalalle!
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
21.06.2017
Tastes like smoked Salmon, the texture is a bit crumbly and the whole might need a bit more salt. Would recommend to eat something with it, probably the pickles Darran suggests.
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3.5/5
I would recommend for a friend
24.06.2017
5/5
I would recommend for a friend
17.07.2017
It's a good portion size of smoky salmon in rye, an all around perfect mixture. This would definitely be the centerpiece of snacks for a camping or hiking trip.
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3.5/5
I would recommend for a friend
06.08.2017
Itse en varsinaisesti ole kalan maun ystävä ja siksi annan tälle vain 3,5 pistettä, vaikka tuotteessa ei muuten mitään vikaa. Kuten arvosteluista näkee, että kalasta pitävät ihmiset hyvin suurella todennäköisyydellä pitävät tästä tuotteesta. Seuraavassa on kuitenkin Kinkkukukolle tekemäni arvio:

Kinkku- ja kalakukkosäilykkeet ovat erinomainen konsepti! Vaikka päiväretkille luontoon tulee otettua (edullisempaa) tuoresevästä, niin usein tulee oltua ulkona aiottua/suunniteltua pidempään (tai ne eväät unohtuu kotiin...) ja säilyvyyden ansiosta tämä tuote paikkaa hienosti pitkittyneen reissun evästarpeen. Annoksen koko on sopiva yhdelle henkilölle yhdeksi annokseksi kerralla syötäväksi toisinkuin perinteiset 400-500 gramman "nötköttipurkit", jotka ovat yhdelle henkilölle turhan paljon kerralla.
Sitä paitsi tässäkin on prosentuaalisesti enemmän lihaa kuin markettien halvimmissa lihasäilykkeissä.

Säilytän pakkaskauden ulkopuolella muutamia purkkeja autossa ja luonnollisesti repussa kulkee aina mukana.

Maku on sitä mitä luvataankin: ruista ja possua. Ei gourmeeta, vaan tuhtia perus"kauraa".
En todellakaan allekirjoita englanninkielisiä vertauksia kissanruokaan! Ketkä lie BigMacin suurkuluttujat niitäkin kirjoittaneet.
Joskaan en itse tiedä miltä kissanruoka maistuu!

Jos maku tuntuu kuivalta, niin mikään ei estä lisäämästä mausteita tai tomaattisiivua, suolakurkkua ym. lisähöysteeksi.

Ilokseni huomasin, että paikkakunnan eräässä K-Supermarketissa on omalla myynti-/esittelyhyllyllään KalaKallen säilykkeitä hintaan 10 euroa / 3 purkkia.
Sillä kappalehinnalla moni koululainen ja/tai duunari ostaa välipalaksi mm. energiajuoman, suklaapatukan ja berliininmunkin.
Kinkkukukko on sentään täyttä ruokaa!
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
06.09.2017
Def getting more of these. I did not find them overly dry, but rather as someone wrote "moist". Well balanced and good taste, not bland.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
28.09.2017
Purchased three cans for my wife. She absolutely loves it. Will be purchasing more.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
02.11.2017
this is some goooooood stuff!!! easy to take with you on a hike or even as a snack at work! get this restocked please!
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
23.12.2017
Ok, I like it. I thought I didn’t, then I realized that I had finished on can and opened another. So I bought several more. And several more .... well, you get the idea. It’s really more like a rye and salmon, well .... cake.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
15.01.2018
5/5
I would recommend for a friend
30.01.2018
this is great, perfect for cold weather food or any other time, great with beer, gave some to my wife and she likes cock now
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
04.02.2018
Bought it out of curiosity from a YouTube channel. Good stuff. Add butter or hot sauce , otherwise damn good canned food.
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4/5
I would recommend for a friend
03.03.2018
5/5
I would recommend for a friend
12.03.2018
I got this on the “I will try anything once” basis, plus the amusing name for native English speakers.

Seems filling and the long shelf life would make it an excellent survival ration.

In a non-survival situation, trying to eat it on its own gets boring after a few mouthfuls, so I recommends mixing it with other things. When I do that I don't want to eat a whole tin in one sitting, which gives a problem of how to carry a half used tin.

I have found that ignoring the ring pull and using a tin opener creates a big enough hole to shake the entire cock out, one can then store it, or part of it, in another container. I have found it fits the BW butter dish so well it could have been made for the purpose.
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4/5
I would recommend for a friend
18.03.2018
Hitusen turhan suolainen maku suoraan purkista, mutta lämmitettynä maku pyöristyy hieman. Hyvä välipala. Taste is a bit on the saltier side if eaten straight out of the can, but if you remove the contents and warm it up a bit, it makes the taste a bit mellower. Good snack.
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3/5
I would recommend for a friend
19.05.2018
Helvetin maukasta, mutta pihinä paskiaisena en nyt tiedä onko ihan hintansa arvoinen kuitenkaan, siksi vain 3 pistettä. Testasin mielenkiinnosta yhden purkin töissä välipalana ja kyllä tästä isommallakin miehellä nälkä lähti ja suupielet rasvasta kiiltää, tosi täyttävää tavaraa kuitenkin. Nuo kissanruokakommentit tulevat varmaan säilykkeen pinnan koostumuksesta, pintahan tietenkin on hieman kuivempi kuin pohja, joten jos yhdellä suupalalla aiot testata, niin ota pohjasta asti. Kaikessa yksinkertaisuudessaanhan tämä tosiaan on öljyistä ja suolaista kalaa kahden ruisleipäviipaleen välissä.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
09.07.2018
First off, I love it. Got that out of the way, so good. Next, they need to sell these in 10 packs or something, I really like them. I bought one can with my first purchase from Varusteleka as is the Post-Inrange habit for this website, and at first I was just okay with it. Salmon is one of my least favorite fish, coupled with how much it costs, I generally just say no. But as I kept eating, it started growing on me. When I started in on my second tin a couple months later (I think 3 orders later) the first bite was awesome. I also taped the cardboard label on the can onto a clock in the shop where I work, and so far, no one has had the heart to take it down (I had it for lunch at work the second time, hence it being there for me to do this). For me, this is on the high end of acceptable moistness for a pasty or a sandwich, or cake for that matter. Those who think it is dry, really, never eat one of my sandwiches, you will think you are biting down into the Sahara if you think this is dry.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
11.07.2018
Uskomattoman maukasta ruokaa. Tilasin yhden kokeilumielessä ettei tarvitse pettyä. En pettynyt, nyt tilaan tätä herkkua kasan kaappeihin pahan päivän varalle. Herkullinen koostumus, ravinto-opillisestikin oivaa kamaa, kaikkea on tasapainoisesti mukana.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
18.07.2018
Buy one and enjoy it.
Lust for more...
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
27.07.2018
Tähän voisi kehittää vaikka jonkin sellaisen luontaistuotemainoksen asiakaskokemuksen: "Pelkäsin jatkuvasti maailmanloppua ja sitä, että joudun elämään makaronilla mutanttien joukossa. Nyt kun löysin Kalakallen Kalakukkotuotteen, pelkoni hälvenivät ja vaimokin sanoi, että hymyilen taas! Nyt voin luottaa siihen, että makaronit jäävät kauppaan ja elän tällä mainiolla tuotteella loppuelämäni! Tätä on aina kaapissa, jottei maailmanloppua odetellessa nälkä yllätä. Olen suositellut tuotetta myös kaikille mutanttiystävilleni, ja se on suorastaan revitty käsistäni." - N.N., Pallivaha, Turku

Vakavasti: tämä on todella hyvää, sekä maultaan että rakenteeltaan. Jäin kaipaamaan vielä toista purkillista, kun sattui olemaan nälkä. Asia tosin ratkesi saman valmistajan viljapossusäilykkeellä näkkileivän päälle annosteltuna.
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4/5
I would recommend for a friend
30.07.2018
I just HAD to try it. I bought 3 tins when Varesteleka offered free shipping to the states in honor of our independenceday. Honestly, I was impressed! I couldn't get that from surplus shops I have ordered from stateside for over a decade. Varesteleka rocks! I'll buy from you over the guide anyday.
After eating 2 tins, I feel I can comment. Its nice and smokie, I ate one can with a little mayonnaise just trying to get the saw dust texture to cease. I'll probably not order fish cock again but it was a great experiment for this land locked Oklahoman. If you like smoked salmon then by all means get a couple tins to see if this is for you.
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4/5
I would recommend for a friend
30.07.2018
I just HAD to try it. I bought 3 tins when Varesteleka offered free shipping to the states in honor of our independenceday. Honestly, I was impressed! I couldn't get that from surplus shops I have ordered from stateside for over a decade. Varesteleka rocks! I'll buy from you over the guide anyday.
After eating 2 tins, I feel I can comment. Its nice and smokie, I ate one can with a little mayonnaise just trying to get the saw dust texture to cease. I'll probably not order fish cock again but it was a great experiment for this land locked Oklahoman. If you like smoked salmon then by all means get a couple tins to see if this is for you.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
16.09.2018
Reaaaaaly good, soft and tasty. Deluxe outdoor food! Forget any review saying it is dry, come oooon! I got the last one, unfortunately i ordered 3 but when i purchased someone had taken 2. I just ate one with a beer and i signed in for a restock mail. I am definitely ordering at least 5 for car and home.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
11.10.2018
Tasty and filling meal. This is perfect food for storage, hiking or emergencies.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
15.11.2018
ok, as a French, I know what a is strong smelling food.

At first was the smell. ok, first thing I was thinking of was cheap fish food for cats or hookers after a 12 hours shift. (and trust me as a truck driver for knowing that :))

But, after tasting it and with half a bottle of red wine, I have to admit, it can be eat. and it's good. sorta like smoked trout for the taste. (or smoked trout after half a bottle of red wine).

Thank you Varusteleka for this discovery.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
25.11.2018
I like to eat fish cock! Gobble-gobble-gobble. It smells mildly of pet food but the taste is great. I don't find it dry at all. It's like a cake with a hint of salmon. Tastes great both with either a cup of coffee or a glass of Laphroaig 10. Does not contain cock though, bit of a bummer.
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5/5
I would recommend for a friend
05.12.2018
I buy these for my girlfriend at least once a month when it's in stock. She just loves the cock.
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