Kalakalle Fish Cock, 182 g, canned

A traditional Finnish delicacy in a canned version, 5 years of shelf life and does not contain cock! If "Fish Cock" doesn't automatically mean food to you, it's a Finnish specialty - fish baked inside rye bread. This is a perfect snack or trekking food, always ready to eat, and contains enough energy to keep you going and enough high-quality protein to keep you in shape.

The food is much like a mix of hamburgers and pie, made out of rye bread and filled with smoked salmon. The funny part is that because of the hermetically sealed tin can, no preservatives are needed, and the ingredients are the superfoods they always tell you you should eat. Because it's healthy AND it tastes good, this food resembles much like a situation where you are enjoying your beer in a bar and a pretty young girl comes up to you and asks if you would like to go to her place for some good times. A deal too good to be true. Except with this food delicacy, there is no hidden cock included.

The guys at Kalakalle are pretty cool, as they don't cheat when they do things. To smoke salmon, they've built two smoke saunas - like real timber smoke saunas. Smoke sauna is a house with a big-as-a-fucking-really-big-thing fireplace and no chimney. You put a fire in the fireplace and the whole building fills with smoke. Smoked salmon is smoked by putting the salmon over these fireplaces.

This really is something as an always-ready-snack or trekking food. It tastes good, and if you are equipped with a knife, you should be able to take the pastry out of the can whole. Looking and tasting at the thing makes it hard to believe it came out of a tin can, as the bread really looks like bread and the whole thing tastes very good.

Foreign people might wonder why the excellent delicacy is called fish cock and, well, it's a wonder for us too, since this food originally comes from Savo, a remote location in the middle of Finland known for inbreeding and incapacity to form sentences that mean anything. In Savo, fish cock means food and flying fish cock a train.

Ingredients: smoked salmon, rye bread (whole grain rye flour, rye [50 %], wheat flour, water, yeast, rye malt, sea salt [1,2 %]), salt 1,3 %.

Nutritional facts: 100 g contains: energy 1009,28 kJ (241,22 kcal), protein 14.11 g, carbs 17.49 g, fat 12.11 g. One can of 182 g contains: energy 439 kcal, protein 26 g, carbs 32 g, fat 22 g.

This product is made in Finland. Obviously.

There is a five-year shelf life printed on the can. This is because "you have to put something in there". In real life, well made (duh, it's made in Finland) canned food lasts a way lot longer, and doesn't really turn toxic - if you store this for reaaally long time, taste and energy values do deteriorate, but it's still edible. As it is, fish cock makes for a very good quality emergency ration. It'd be smart to store these into your car, your boat, cabin, and anywhere you might get stranded in.