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The internet is full of DIY nuke guides. There are mainly two problems: first, collecting radioactive material from smoke alarms is a bloody chore and second, you just can't find a good launch button from anywhere. Well, at least one of these problems has been remedied!
These missile launch buttons are genuine ex-Soviet hardware, and considering how serious they were about explosive things that level everything, these are superbly well made. You cannot find such buttons from even the largest of shopping centres, at least not for this price!
The button is not ON/OFF type. You slam it, it goes down. You lift your fist, it goes up. It has a simple attachment for wires on both sides. Peel the ends, stick them in the holes and tighten the screws. There's two ways for wiring, depending on which side you attach the wires to:
It gives an endless possibilities for all kinds of testice torture devices and such. And yeah, we know, everyone dreams of a cute little missile base or their very own nuclear weapon, but let's not forget that this button has other more mundane uses as well. Who could resist using it for a doorbell, sure to make the mind wander around: "if I press this, which part of this building collapses, or does something just fly directly into Washington? Do I get an electric shock? Does someone else?"
The plastic washers around the button can be screwed off, so you can just drill a hole on the platform of your choice and bolt the button on.
The story is the same old classic: these were stocked in some Soviet-governed military base in a country behind the Iron Curtain, and when the the Cold War ended, someone found these and "made a fortune" with them. These are all in unused shape, still waiting for their first hot launch!
This button does not fail! That's why we're prepared to give it a lifetime guarantee of functionality. If your button breaks in use, we will replace as long as we have these in stock. Just send us a frustrating image of the non-functionality, preferably with an accompanying sour text about how this ruined your supervillain fantasies.
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